The world needs to be changed

Yesterday, the weather was terrible, all heavy clouds and thunder and no rain. And I was sick. Incredibly sick. I could hardly stay awake but I couldn't sleep, and my skull felt like some Elder Thing was about to crack out of it at any moment, and the thought of eating was perfect anathema to me. So I spent the whole day not doing much of anything other than thinking in that slow, creaking way one does when your head hurts all day long.

And I decided I'm sick of this. All of it. I'm sick of not yet being the prolific and well-received author I want to be. I'm sick of the requirement that I keep a job I don't like and have no loyalty for because otherwise I'll be homeless on the street. I'm sick of Florida's inconsistent weather and heavy storms. I'm tired of the dead-end that is this beautiful town if you're too young to retire and haven't managed yet to pay all your bills via a computer-life.

I'm sick of the world that says I can't just uproot and start over with a new name in a new place like people did when things were smaller and more straight forward. I'm sick of all the needs placed on me against my will. I'm sick of waiting. I'm sick of being sick because I can't properly function in this climate.

And I decided, again, that this is when everything changes. I'm starting today. This blog is one of the steps: a way to vent the frustrations and celebrate the inspirations of living this modern, connected, ridiculous life while trying to build the one I want. A way to try to change something, anything, one person at a time, and to build the sort of nation I want to live in. The sort of community I want to be a part of. I'm applying for new jobs doing what I want, I'm saving my money, I'm looking for new opportunities from the world and the universe and my own growing skill-set, and I'm writing the new reality into being.

Take that, Real World.